The Answer Key

Wow! I really stumped y’all on last week’s Ten Things Tuesday, huh? I’m sorry if I made some of you crazy (hi, Ciboulette!). I didn’t think the quotes were that obscure, but I guess I was wrong. Don’t be too hard on yourselves; it’s tough to figure stuff like this out when it’s so out of context.

Because shit like this would drive ME crazy, and because I love you all and don’t want YOU to be crazy (even though I’m well aware that it’s too late for some of you – hi, Contrary!) here’s the answer key for that little quiz. Comment to tell me how many of them made you slap your forehead and yell “DAMMIT! I KNEW that!!!”

1. “We fight for men and women whose poetry is not yet written but which will presently be as enviable and as renowned as any.”

GLORY – this was a voice over: Broderick’s character was writing a letter home to his mother. Dudley got this one, but he needed a little nudge.
 
 
 
 
 

2. “How would you like to spend the next several nights wondering if your crazy, out of work, bum uncle will shave your head while you sleep? See you in the car.”

UNCLE BUCK – John Candy delivered this line as a means of dealing with his attitudinal, recalcitrant teenaged niece. I loved it, and am saving it up to use one day on my attiudinal, recalcitrant teenaged daughters.

 
 
 
3. “I got *moths.* Big, mutant, junky *moths.* “

JUMPIN’ JACK FLASH – Whoopie saiid this when someone made a wise-ass comment about the state of her clothing after she’d been through a particularly hellish afternoon which, if memory serves, involved a document shredder and a fall off a roof.

 
 
 

4. “What a pain in the ass you are. And it’s true: you’re not young, you’re not new, and you do make people laugh. And me? I’m still with you because you make me laugh. So you know what I got to do? I got to sell my plot in Key Biscayne so I can get one next to you in that shithole Los Copa, so I never miss a laugh.”

THE BIRDCAGE – Kizz got this one – it’s when Albert gets pissed off at Armand and tries to run away, taking his toothbrush and a little purse with him. There are SO many great lines from that movie, but this is the only one I could think of that wouldn’t give it all away.

 
 
 

5. “Actually, I believe the term “shyster” is reserved for attorneys of the Jewish persuasion. I believe the proper term for me is “eggplant.”

ENEMY OF THE STATE – Dudley figured this one out, too. Delivered in that delightful, deadpan way that Will Smith has perfected, it’s one of my favorite lines in that movie. I had to hold back from the “let me follow the nanny!” line, to tell you the truth. That one cracks me up every time, too.

 
 
 

6. “Now, I’d like to remind you all that we’re recording live, so you can’t say “hell” or “shit” or anything like that!”

WALK THE LINE – Another one Dudley knew (you so SMAHT!). This was spoken during the Folsom Prison scene.

 
 
 
 
 
7. “You kids go down there and find my nuts!”

50 FIRST DATES – this line was delivered by Rob Schneider, an actor I usually can’t STAND, but who I LOVED in this film (“HEY! No flippy off the dock!!). If you haven’t seen it yet, you really should. It’s sweet and funny and really redeems Adam Sandler a little bit for me.

 
 
 

8. “When your friends betray you, sometimes the only people you can trust are strangers.”

NEGOTIATOR – Said by one of MY favorite actors (Samuel L. Jackson) to one of Kizz’s favorite actors (Kevin Spacey). I like the logic of the statement, and how it fit so neatly into the plot of the film. I had a hard time not putting in the “NEVER say NO to a HOSTAGE TAKER!” but that would have given it all away. I also really love the “I once talked a guy out of blowing up the Sears Tower but I can’t talk my wife out of the bedroom or my kid off the phone,” but I thought that’d be too easy.

 
 
 
9. “He’s got a shit coming on. It’s overdue.”

COLD MOUNTAIN – I really DIDN’T love this movie, despite all the Oscars it won. I DID love Renee Zelweiger’s character, though, and this line (spoken by Jude Law in about the middle of the film) cracked me up with its dead-pan delivery.

 
 
 

10. “I’ll bet someone back east is going, “Now why don’t he write?”

DANCES WITH WOLVES – this line was delivered by Robert Pastorelli as Timmons. He’s standing over a skeleton with an arrow sticking out of its ribcage when he says it, and manages to crack himself up. About twenty minutes later in the film, he winds up in much the same state (though, if I’m not mistaken, his first arrow ends up in his ass). It’s so devilishly ironic as to be memorable.
 
 
 
Sorry, everyone. I’ll try not to be so damned frustrating next time!