The Example We Set

Here’s the scene; we’re enjoying an elementary school band concert in the middle school gym. The bleachers are packed with families of forth and fifth grade band members. It’s hot. It’s late.

The middle school band director - a funny and charismatic man - gets on the microphone after the last performance and asks the families to please keep their seats until after the band members have left the gym. You can retrieve your child, he tells us, after they’ve returned to the rooms where they’ve stored their instrument cases, then he proceeds to give us instructions on how to get to those rooms.

NO SOONER had the man replaced the microphone in its stand did people start standing up and herding toward the floor.

I was FURIOUS. Did the man not JUST ask us to sit for a minute to give the kids a chance to get out ahead of us? Did he not explain WHY we was asking this (apparently very difficult) thing? Did he not ask politely and respectfully? Did you just not hear him, or are so so incredibly self-centered and oblivious that you thought he couldn’t POSSIBLY be talking to YOU?!

This was not the only display of blatant disregard for the consideration of others we saw that night, either - people thundered up and down the bleachers while the students played, people wandered INTO the band to hand their children water bottles or to take their pictures; people stood at the wings and allowed younger siblings to frolic and dance.

This is the sort of thing I’m noticing a lot lately. As SOON as the wheels hit the runway, one can hear the sound of an entire fuselage unbuckling seat belts, despite the REPEATED admonitions - and the lighted signs - against doing so. Last week, I attended a parent orientation night in the middle school that Punkin’ Pie will attend next term. The invitation to this night came on a sheet of paper that EXPLICITLY said the evening was intended for parents only, and would we please make arrangements for our children to stay home. How many people completely disregarded that request? So many that I sat there with my mouth open as family after family strolled into the auditorium (Mr. Chili was home with the girls).  People answer cell phone calls in inappropriate places (classrooms, doctor’s offices, yoga class).  Students (and some faculty) at the University and at TCC smoke while literally standing UNDER the signs prohibiting that activity. Then there are the ad campaigns promoting teachers which use rotten grammar…

We have NO RIGHT to wonder why it is that our children are growing up unable to follow direction and with a disrespectful streak long and wide enough to land the shuttle. How can we expect children to behave certain ways if we’re not willing to provide models for the kind of behavior we’re requiring of them? The short answer is “we can’t.”

I wrote a letter to the band director (because, yes, that’s what I do - I write letters) telling him that SOME of us heard his request and some of us honored it. He was rudely disrespected last night, and I wanted him to know that someone noticed.