Why is it that we can point out the beauty in others, but are so blind to the same in ourselves?
I can rattle on, almost endlessly, about the virtues of the people I love. I think my husband practically radiates “wonderful”; my best friends have admirable qualities that almost defy my ability to describe them; I can speak kind words about people I barely know - blogging friends, a few of my students, some regular participants in my fitness classes - without having to work at all.
So, why is it that, when we’re asked to come up with a little self-affirmation, we choke? Is it that we don’t wish to appear vain or conceited, or is it that we genuinely don’t think that the things that we do (or the things that we are) measure up to the same standards that we see in others?
Someone called me beautiful the other day. I don’t come up with “beautiful” when I think of myself; I use that word neither as a description of my physical being nor of my personality. My perspective of myself isn’t negative (well, at least, not most of the time - I have my moments), but I don’t ascribe to myself the qualities that “beautiful” conjures in the mind.
I’ve been tagged to come up with ten positive things about me, and I’m finding it a harder task than I thought it would be. I’ve got until tomorrow’s Ten Things Tuesday post to come up with the seven more things to say - seven more gifts that I bring to this party. I’m sure I can come up with them, but I’ve got to say that it would have been much, MUCH easier to write this post about someone else. Anyone else.
I’m not intending to come off as pathetic here - I’m not looking for sympathy or encouragement, really. I think I may be starting to come out of the blue funk I’ve been in for a few months now, even. I’m just sayin’ - sit down and come up with ten really spectacular things about you and you’ll see what I’m talking about. Self-love is a tough thing.
In the comments, tell me at least ONE thing that you radiate. Maybe all that positive thinking will rub off on me…
(image courtesy of fotosearch.com)
Hmmm, to me, there is no shortage of puffed-up, self-satisfied, ego floating around. We don’t need to praise ourselves, we just need to keep trying to be better: I maybe snapped at someone today, maybe tomorrow, in a comparable situation, I can refrain. Maybe I passed by someone who could have used my help, maybe, tomorrow, in a comparable situation, I won’t.
I cannot comment much on the idea of one’s own looks. You can control, what? Your hairdo? Your weight (maybe)? Your clothing? We look how we look, sez I, let’s concentrate on how we act, perhaps.
Is there too much self-criticism going around? If so, I have completely missed it. Maybe too little self-examination. Maybe too much worrying about “who I am” (whatever in the hell that means).
It’s called humility, and that is one very GOOD virtue that you have. One of many, I might add.
It’s tough to “toot our own horns.” Think about people you know who are “good” at promoting themselves. You probably think of them as braggarts, and wonder how much of what they say is real, and how much is just hyperbole.
You are very real and very special to everyone who knows you.
I spend a lot of time working on this since I need to market myself as part of my business and it’s hard. A lot of the time I go to other people and ask them to tell me things that I can use. I think if I’d gotten tasked with your 10things I’d probably have done 10 things for someone else first, just to get me in the groove before I moved on to me.
One thing that I radiate? Apparently I radiate solutions. People often come to me for suggestions about how to solve something thorny.
I radiate goofiness. Now, I don’t mean I am a class clown and am disruptive, but I can definitely make the room laugh when I am “on.” I wish I were more self-confident, though. But, maybe that would change who I am - it is a part of my core, what makes me “me” I suppose.
One time I was bemoaning my looks. Or joking, more like it; in the car with my husband a few years ago, I said something about the “pretty” girls in high school. He just looked at me and said something like this: “I know you were a self-conscious egg-head/nerd who wished she were one of the popular/pretty ones, but that experience made you who you are today. That is the person I love and married.”
And if you need to know any wonderful things about you, I’ve only spoken to you over the phone and I can come up with several!
I have no freakin’ idea what i radiate.
Sexiness? No.
Happiness? Sometimes.
Confidence? Somedays.
Serenity? Occasionally.
Bull? Often.
How’s your kitty?
Meno, the kitty is in a holding pattern. He SEEMS better, but that could just be the antibiotics talkin’.
We spent nearly 500 bucks and we still don’t know what’s up with him. The vet found a “mass” in his throat (which accounted for his not eating and his gagging when he tried) and took a biopsy of it that we won’t have the results for until another week or so. The upshot, though, is that he seems to be feeling better, is eating pretty regularly, and is coming home when we let him out. What more can I ask, really?
I’m a geek, Thats what I bring to the table. I Don’t know if some kind of antibiotic will help with that though.
I radiate pervosity. Happily vulgar, and filthy, I was probably created this way for shock value, but I’m surprisingly good with kids. When Churchill spoke of Russia, he said it was “… a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma”. I’m more of a paddle, wrapped in the blistery insides of an enema. Also, I may have Tourette’s (the non-shouting variety). Heh.
Geek, I’m pretty sure it’s a lifelong condition. It’s okay, though - I know a lot of people who have it who live (relatively) normal lives….
Stucco, I love you. You make me laugh ALL. THE. TIME.