This year, though, I got to hate it THREE times.
You all know that I am not now, nor have I ever been, a big fan of Daylight Saving Time. It seems arbitrary and pointless to me, and I hate the amount of time it takes me to adjust to the “springing ahead” bit. Well, now I have another reason to be resentful of the meaningless way we fuck with time: my cell phone’s clock application can’t figure this shit out.
Last Monday was going to be a challenging day for me. Mr. Chili had left on Sunday to be with Dudley for what turned out to be the last game of this year’s World Series (see, Auntie? I’m talking about the Sox! You can comment!), which meant that I was going to be a single parent on a school day. The girls and I made their lunches the night before because, usually, I’m the lunch-maker while Mr. Chili is cycling small people through the shower. We went to bed relatively early to make sure that we could get up in the morning without drama or whining, and we all agreed to be gentle and kind to one another in the hustle of our morning routine.
Before I turned off the lights, I flipped open my beloved Gizzy and set the alarm on the clock application to go off at 6:14, plugged her into her charger, set her on the nightstand, clicked the light and closed my eyes, confident that she would do her little buzzing and flashing thing to gently roust me from my sleep at the appointed time (don’t ask me why I chose 6-fourteen; I don’t like to set my alarms for round numbers like 6:00 or 6:15 - it’s a thing).
I woke in the light of morning and glanced over at the nightstand to see what time it was. I’ve been lately waking up at odd times during the night, and I wanted to see how much time I had before the alarm went of to decide whether it was worth it to get out of bed now or if I could be a little bit lazy and lie about for a while longer. I have a clock on the bedside table - one of those little digital travel alarm things that’s adjusted by radio waves to some master clock somewhere - and holy crap! it said it was 6:52!
What the?! WHY didn’t the alarm go off? Punkin Pie has to leave for school in TEN MINUTES!? THIS can’t be right! So I flip open the gizzy and check the alarm. Did I forget to actually finish turning it on? Did I set it for p.m. instead of a.m.?! (notice how I instantly assume that the error was mine?)
No - I’d done everything right - the gizzy told me it was FIVE fifty-two. Oh, thank GOD! Well, I wonder what’s wrong with the travel alarm (notice how I instantly assume that the error was ANYTHING but the gizzy? Such is my love for this little device).
I flipped her closed and set her back down and snuggled back into bed. I’ve got twenty minutes before the alarm goes off, I thought, so I can try to at least recover from the panic-induced adrenaline rush. Not two minutes later, Gizzy starts buzzing. It’s a call from Mr. Chili - calling to wish the girls a happy day before they get on the bus.
“WAIT a minute,” I said. “WHAT time is it where you are?”
“The same time it is where you are, Silly,” he said, “I haven’t left the time zone.”
“I know that - what time is it?”
“It’s ten of seven.”
“HOLY SHIT! I gotta go - we aren’t UP yet!”
The clock application - which no one at T-Mobile seems to actually administer - had set itself back to Standard Time a week early (which, without Dubya’s mindless and incomprehensible interference, would have been the right weekend to do it). Since I was at YNG all weekend - which starts at 9:30, which is WAY past my normal, waking-up-without-assistance time - I’d never set the alarm over the weekend, so I never noticed that the time was off. I flew out of bed, woke the girls with many apologies, helped them brush their hair so that it wasn’t IMMEDIATELY obvious that we’d not showered, and blessed my forethought in making lunches last night. Everyone got to where they were supposed to be, but it wasn’t the easy, stressless morning I was planning for.
WELL, guess what? I set my alarm last night, confident that, FINALLY, Gizzy would be on the same time as everyone else because DST ended yesterday. I teach step and yoga on Sunday mornings starting at 8:30, so I asked Gizzy to wake me at 7:09.
Can you SEE where this is going?!
Ten past six, the thing starts buzzing. The fucking clock application set itself BACK again. Now, instead of one hour to wake up and prepare myself to teach, I’m sitting here, two hours early, seriously considering getting an iPhone.
I don’t quite get the whole Daylight Savings time thing either…. I grew up in Indiana, and until last year, they didn’t change their clocks. Now I’m in Arizona and we don’t change them here either. With the exception of my two years in Nevada, I’ve been lucky not to have to deal with the clock-changing madness that occurs every Fall and Spring.
Yep its gonna happen, I will have one. Maybe by the time it happens they will have a green one for Tense as well.
I’m gonna be fine until it gets dark at 5:30 tonight. Then I’m gonna be convinced that it’s midnight at 7, and I will be very grumptastic.
On the upside, it’ll be whole lot easier to put the Toot down to bed when the sun isn’t out.
However you need to justify getting one of those GORGEOUS and FABULOUS phones, you go ahead…
Sorry to hear about the temporal anomalies!
That’s a fabulous reason to get an iPhone. Truly.
Yesterday we saw a guy in traffic who was talking on an iPhone. I am quite sure it was worth way more than his car.
I’m with you on Daylight savings Time. Other than i love the one long day today, it pretty much blows.
Thank goodness I’m not having as much trouble with the end of DST as you are. I even made it to church for a SERVICE, something I haven’t done in ages, and I WORK at a church.
That’s hysterical. I hate resetting clocks every year. If I were richer, I just have two sets of clocks and pull them out each season…much like summer clothes and winter clothes.