Why I’m an Ally
February 15, 2008 by mrschili
A fifteen-year-old GLBTQ student was gunned down at point blank range by his fourteen-year-old classmate on Tuesday morning in their English class. Lawrence King was a self-identified gay student who was murdered for apparently no other reason than his feminine gender expression was, according to a classmate, “freaking the guys out.”
I really can’t even begin to express how much this horrifies me.
At what point do we finally decide as a society that enough is too much? When do we get serious about teaching our children (and each other) that diversity is not a personal affront or a threat to our comfort and happiness? What’s it going to take?
This is not the post I wanted to publish today. I wanted today to be about celebrating and promoting a friend who’s doing what she loves. I have to write about this, though, because I hate that I live in a society that has set up the conditions for a child to murder, at point-blank and in cold blood, another child only because he was different. I hate that this boy was raised by adults who allowed him to think that his classmate deserved to die because of a little eye shadow and some feminine mannerisms, and that it was okay for him to take a gun to school and do the job himself.
Lawrence King wasn’t hurting anyone; Matthew Shepard wasn’t hurting anyone, and yet both of these boys were brutally murdered because of who they were. Goodness only knows how many more GLBTQ people have been killed or harassed that we never find out about.
I will not shut up. I will not stop fighting or voting or standing up until this country recognizes that its strength is in its diversity and that everyone - EVERYONE - deserves to be safe and to live a peaceful life.
When also do we teach them that the cure for being “freaked out” is not homicide?
Thank you. Again.
I don’t know what to say. My heart just aches when I read things like this. It’s beyond time for humans to stop behaving this way.
When do we teach them that asking themselves why they are freaked out, and how to answer that self-awareness to gain insight so that they realize that DIFFERENT does NOT EQUAL BAD/DANGEROUS?
How to we provide a safe environment where the conversation is possible and how to answer that without coming to the conclusion that different equals BAD/DANGEROUS?
I can only hope that people all over do not fail to recognize this as an opportunity to begin this conversation and not to let it drop. EVER.
Another senseless tragedy. Too bad the parents can’t go to jail along with the murderer. I suppose, on top of everything else senseless and stupid about this, the 14 year old assassin was too dim-witted to think about consequences for himself. Honestly, I don’t think he threw his life away, someone this lacking in the power to reason wasn’t going to have much of a life anyway, never would have been a “productive member of society,” and certainly won’t be now.
I was going to say I wished they would charge the 14-year-old as an adult, but then I step into the children-in-adult-prisons thing. Perhaps there is something bizarre in worrying about how someone who takes a firearm and deliberately kills someone because, in essence, they didn’t like the cut of someone’s jib is going to be treated in prison.
I was going to comment on your efforts on behalf of gay and lesbian people, but it would be too long a comment. When I gather my thoughts, I’ll post about it. Suffice it to say, for now, I agree with you.
Where did this happen? There is nothing in the news about it down here.
It’s stuff like this that almost make me sorry for having brought Little Man into the world. I know that Cookiemaker and I will do everything we can to make sure he doesn’t turn into the 14-year-old gunman and to realize the people like the 14-year-old gunman are the people to stay away from, but just the fact that he’ll have to share a world with idiots like that just plain flat-out scares me.
Seester, this is ANOTHER reason why I’m making so much noise; there’s nothing in the news about it HERE, either. It happened in California and, honestly, the only reason I found out about it is because I’m on an email list to a GLBT student organization and I got a notice through them. Apparently, the cold-blooded, premeditated murder of a single student isn’t newsworthy.
I am so sad that this keeps happening because there are still people who think it’s okay to hate based on sexual preference.
Sing it sister, we are with you.
I have a cousin and a nephew that are gay. When they came out, it wasn’t a surprise to anyone that knew them. It would be nice if our society would just accept the fact that being gay isn’t a choice and accept people the way they are.
Meno, I’m going to keep yelling about it until people figure out that it’s not okay to hate, PERIOD.
Thank you all for your voices of support. Now go on out and tell someone who doesn’t already agree with you; the only way we’re going to win this thing is if our love is stronger than their hate….
Last year at our Senior Awards Night, one of our students received the Matthew Shepherd memorial scholarship- and basically came out that night in front of his peers, their parents, teachers and administrators. I was very proud of our school and our students on that evening.
We need to keep fighting the good fight.
ms_teacher said something which I think is, perhaps, unproductive. She said people should “accept the fact that being gay isn’t a choice.” I have no issue with it not necessarily being a choice, but I would hate to think I/We were standing up only for those genetically destined to be gay, and not those who made the choice (if there are such people, I don’t know).
It may seem like a minor point (and, as I admit in ignorance, may be a moot point), but splitting hairs like this is what the hate-mongers do, isn’t it? Don’t get me wrong. I’m not accusing you by any stretch of being a hate monger, but I sure don’t want to let the dim-witted puritans dictate the dialog.
Oh, hell, did it sound at the end when I made clear I wasn’t contending ms-teacher was a hate-monger, that lumped her in with the dim-witted puritans. Please just accept I didn’t mean that, either. I should just plead my good heart at the beginning and end of everything I say. Would that help?
Puritanism: the deep-seated fear that somebody, somewhere, is having a good time.
amen, lady. i am SO with you.
It’s okay, Gerry - I think we get what you’re trying to say. Coming off well in print about this stuff is hard work. You get lots of credit for even trying.
Honestly, I’ve never come across anyone, in all my years of being an ally, who CHOSE a GLBTQ lifestyle (the argument goes “who would CHOOSE to be a member of a hated, targeted group where being a member could literally get one killed?”
but I don’t think that in ANY way lessens your point. Whether it’s a choice or not, discrimination against people who are different from oneself is WRONG.
Your last sentence summed up what I was trying to say.
Amen…
I can’t find this article or I’d put it on my blog, too.
~Allison
I just read the article you posted Chili and it deeply saddens and frightens me. As a human being, that one would kill another for simply being different is a tragic, ignorant mistake. As a gay woman who spent 40 plus years in the closet and not being true to herself in tormented silence, the idea of being killed for being true to oneself is both deeply disturbing and frightening.
I grew up in a small town up north where people openly harassed, emotionally abused, ostracized, and physically beat people for even ‘appearing gay’. I wound up in the military where homophobia is rampant, open and accepted. Even after 20 years of honorable service to my country, I am still considered ‘less than’ as a gay woman.
I have met more gay people in the military than anywhere else in my lifetime and yet we are still openly discriminated against.
I am deeply saddened by Lawrence King’s and Mathew Shepard’s deaths, for simply being true to themselves. This scared a boy and boy(s)so much he/they killed.
I know how the 14 year old became what he is, a criminal and now murderer, because we still allow this in many areas of our culture, not just the military. You are not born hating certain people; prejudice and hate are taught. I feel sorry for this child because he has no idea of the pain he’s caused the victim’s family and friends as well as the nation.
God Bless Lawrence, Mathew, and all LGBT, those that support us like Chili with love, respect, hope, peace, and understanding.
Xena