Adventures in Crisis Intervention *Edited*
April 9, 2008 by mrschili
Someone I love is in crisis, and I’m writing this as she’s in conference with her insurance company about what alcohol rehab centers are covered under her policy. I’m not sure she thought she’d be doing this during our visit this afternoon, but I am very glad she is. Her thinking was that she would wait until June to get the help she needs (so she can work out the end of her contract at her job). That is too long to wait. Hell, FRIDAY is too long to wait. This needs to happen for her, and it needs to happen soon. I’m glad I made her make these calls…
*Edited*
My friend got in touch with her insurance people and found that there are a couple of options that she can choose. It seems that there’s a women-only treatment center within striking distance of here that will work with her insurance (as opposed to the center in Florida that she was planning on going to in June, which doesn’t). The downside is that, as of right now, there are no beds available. The plan is to call them back in the morning to see if anyone has been discharged - and to keep calling until someone is and a space is cleared.
My friend’s plan for the night is to go to an AA meeting, come home, have some herbal tea, do some work, then go to bed. She’s promised she won’t drink - and yes, I recognize that an alcoholic’s promise is subject to suspicion, but short of being there when she gets home from her meeting, there’s very little I can do about whether or not she stays true to her word. She told me this afternoon that her alcohol counselor wanted her to tell me that I’m not to engage her on the phone for more than three minutes when she calls me drunk. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do - I have the option of 911, but I’m not sure how I feel about that. Anyway, I’m going to hope that she stays sober tonight and I’ll call her first thing in the morning to see that she calls the treatment center and to check in with her day.
This is my first time dealing with alcoholism, and I have the distinct and alarming feeling that I’m in way over my clearance level. I’m not the only one helping her - she’s got a couple of professionals on the case, too - but I’ll take with a grateful heart any suggestions that any of you can offer me; I love my friend very much, I want to see her through this as best I can while still maintaining my center of gravity, and I want as much help as I can get.
I’m sending out good thoughts to her as she goes through this. What a tough and brave step to take.
Thinking good thoughts, and I am very glad your friend has you to lean on.
I wish you and your friend all the best. She’s over the first hurdle already–admission.
Per my post earlier this week, I am no stranger to people in recovery. A couple of things I can tell you:
1) The first step in AA is to admit that you are powerless over alcohol and that your life has become unmanageable. Sounds like your friend has done that. It’s a HUGE step.
2) Strongly encourage her to go to meetings. In fact, she should go from one AA meeting to another if that’s what it takes to stay sober today.
3) At the meeting they will ask who needs a temporary sponsor, hopefully she will raise her hand and get one. It’s someone for her to call when she feels the urge to drink. Actually before.
4) There is absolutely nothing you can do to keep your friend from drinking. You cannot manage someone else’s addiction. Your role as a supportive friend is to say: Go to a meeting. Call your sponsor.
I wish her luck.
i don’t know what to say. you’re being the friend she needs. just take care of yourself.
Addicts are very crafty people and it is very easy to get in over your head. It’s also very easy to become a victim of an addict. I’ve been on both sides of that fence. Just be very careful. Your best bet is to be as supportive of your friend as you possibly can without getting too deeply involved.
Be there. You cant stop her drinking. She has to want to stop herself. You are her friend, not AA or her sponsor if she gets one. I am with Michael..being there means say go to a meeting, call your sponsor…you cant do more however much you might want to
I agree, your friend has already hurdled her biggest obstacle ~ admitting she has a drinking problem and is seeking help. My first husband was an alcoholic, but unfortunately never admitted it, so he never got the help he needed.
You are a beautiful person, and your friend is very lucky to have you.
Being a good friend isn’t always easy, is it?
Hope all works out.
Good Karma coming from here. My family has a history of alcoholism, but fortunately it seems to have ended with me. My grandfather was a drunk. My mom has horrible childhood memories. My dad is a recovering drunk….30 years and counting.
Having a friend during this time is, I’m sure, a great source of strength and comfort.
You’re good people, Chili. We are all better because of it. hang tough, my friend.