Every week, at the end of my Sunday yoga class, I lead my group through a meditation. I’ve mentioned before that, most often, the inspiration for these doesn’t come from me; I’m usually guided to say certain things, and I never know, until I sit still, close my eyes, and open my heart, what the message is going to be.
This week, I spoke about recognizing abundance in our lives. I know that, very often, I’ll start focusing on the glass half empty without realizing that what’s actually in the glass is usually more than sufficient. The being able to see what we have rather than what we don’t is one of the keys to being happy, I think; the recognition that we have what we love and love what we have.
Our culture isn’t set up for this kind of contentment, though. We’re always being pushed to do, be, buy, see, and go more. We’re supposed to be smarter, thinner, richer, prettier than we are, regardless of where we are on the (very relative) continuum of those things, or we’re not sufficiently living. Your car should be newer. Your home should be bigger (or, at the very least, your lawn should be greener). Your wrinkles should be less noticeable. Your jean size should be smaller.
I’m not down with this kind of attitude, though, and I find that I sometimes get some slack for it. I’m content - indeed, happy - with where I am and what I have. Some would tell me that I’m being complacent and am not living up to my full potential, but I don’t always subscribe to the “what’s next?” philosophy. I don’t need another degree. I may want one at some point in the not-too-distant future, but I don’t feel as though I’m being lazy for not actively pursuing another Master’s or a Ph.D. right now. I don’t need a newer car. I love my little Golf; it does exactly what I want it to do, it looks exactly as I want it to look and, if I continue to care for it properly, it will keep doing and looking as I want it to for a good many more years.
There’s a line in Sheryl Crow’s Soak Up the Sun that says it’s not having what you want / it’s wanting what you’ve got. Living a life of abundance - being clear-eyed enough to see all the wonder and plenty in our lives - doesn’t mean that we stop striving for the things that are important to us, but it does mean that we don’t whiz by all the good we have on the way to something that may or may not be better.
I’d like to add my name to this philosophy. Many things have happened over this past year and every single one of them has helped me gain clarity about the good in my life. Karma will always take care of those who take care of themselves. I have half as much income, yet twice as much peace. Seems like a good equation to me.
I am always having this conversation with someone close to me. We Americans are in the habit of comparing ourselves with each other. What we don’t realize, then, is that even the most average of us have a standard of living far, far above most of the rest of the world. I am trying to impress this upon my children, but it is very hard without taking them and showing them. It isn’t just about cars, houses, or things. I did take my daughter online to see how much of simple basic necessities her measly allowance could buy for someone in an impoverished nation.
Gosh. I sound preachy.
I am going to look at flowers and be happy!
Have you read a book called “Status Anxiety?” You might find it very interesting.
OK, that was little too deep for a Monday!
Very true, but deep.
It reminds me, in fact, of something that seemed to always come up with my students during my internship. We’d get to talking about the economy and the price of gas and the environment, and all the kids would say “Yeah, we need to do something about that!” and I would say “Then why don’t you?” and they would say “Huh?!”
“Let me put it this way,” I would continue. “If you had the money to buy any vehicle you could, how many of you would by a hybrid or an economy car?”
Very few hands would go up.
“Now then,” I would go on, “how many of you would buy a Hummer or a Ferrari or something like that?”
A forest of hands would go up.
“And there’s our problem as a nation,” I would conclude. “We are hung up on looking cooler than the next guy that we would rather sacrifice the environment and choke on skyrocketing gas prices than be caught dead in a Prius or a Festiva. It’s no longer enough to keep up with the Joneses, now we have to be better than the Joneses, and one day it will be the death of us.”
oh, the joyful mind. hard to realize.
I’m a “squirt food coloring into the water and dunk stuff in the half a glass” person!
I sometimes feel badly that i am happy not doing much, by the standards of society.
But then, i am happy. So i get over it.
Nicely said.
I love that Sheryl Crow quote. True, so true. It’s sometimes hard not to get caught up in the culture of “stuff” that is so prevalent.
The Wall Str**t Journal Sunday quip this weekend presented the case of buying a 150,00 mile car. A basic car. WTF they all last 150, 000. Invest or at least not pay a finance fee. Invest the 10 grand you saved for not buying the big car that overloads your need, invest it instead. Yeah, I hear you, none of us has money to waste. DO buy safest car for less money. We can do that. We do not need Beemers..or Volvos.
Let’s all buy the safest least priced car and try to stash the difference. Yeah, we are the boomers that doesn’t mean we are the losers.
Sorry if this was a guest post, thanks, mrs chili.
We are tweaking where we can, have not yet taken the bikes out for the ride to work. Mea culpa.
This is exactly the kind of thinking that earned Lawrence Peter Berra the name Yogi.
It sounds good to me!
Rick
This post really spoke to me. I struggle daily to remind myself that I have all that I need and so much more. I have never bought into the needing more stuff crapola, but I really feel the pressure not to “let myself go” and to “keep myself up”-when can I just be me and have that be enough. I think it should be tomorrow.
Sometimes I think, when we are in places that sell stuff, that there’s none of it I want. I have all I need and more. I’m getting to where I think more about sharing than acquiring.
That doesn’t mean I don’t get consumables to eat and take care of my garden!
I don’t go to Wal*Mart very often, but everytime I do, I am shocked at the amount of “stuff” Americans think that they need. I have always preached the “less” philosophy around my house. Too much stuff makes like stressful.
Great post! I’ve used that Sheryl Crow quote, too. I remind myself when in the midst of hustle-bustle overload that my life is enviable to millions of people who don’t have nearly what I do.
Mindful, it’s all about living in the now.
Buying stuff will never bring lasting happiness. If you can’t be happy without it, you won’t be happy with it.
our escape to the country sometimes leaves me with the feeling that we might have gone a little too far in this direction…we live on very little in a beautiful place, but someday I fear the world will impinge upon us…like when we have to pay our childrens university fees!