Upside the Head with a Sledgehammer

Seriously.  The Universe is NOT subtle.

I was driving to O’Mama’s the morning to pick Punkin’ Pie up after her sleepover with MonkeyFace.  As I’m driving, I got a message – loud, clear, and entirely apropos of nothing – that the lock on the front door needed to be replaced before we leave for vacation tomorrow.

Now, understand this; the moron who built our house was just that – a moron.  In the original structure, there isn’t a single door that closes properly – closet, bedroom, bathroom – and the front door is no exception.  We don’t bother throwing the lock in the door knob because all one needs to do is shove a stout shoulder against the thing and it will swing happily – if not a bit crookedly – open to allow admittance.  In fact, if we want to throw the deadbolt, we need to shove said stout shoulder into the door in its closed position for the lock to fully engage, and a series of pulling and wiggling motions at the door have to accompany the workings of the key to get the door to reposition sufficiently for the bolt to retract.

I didn’t think there was anything particularly wrong with that; in fact, I thought the fact that the door required a fair bit of secret-handshake manipulation would make the deadbolt that much more secure, but the Universe was insistent that the bolt be replaced – and today.

My husband is a wonderful, patient man.  I called him from my phone and relayed the message and, God/dess love him, he dropped what he was doing and headed to Home Depot to get us a new deadbolt, which he is installing at this very minute.  He’s learned to respect the messages I get; they’re most often startlingly timely and important – remember the shellfish incident? – and I love that he doesn’t roll his eyes or hum the theme to the Twilight Zone when stuff like this happens.

I’ll sleep easier with this finished.  Besides, I would hate to come home to a ransacked house with the voices in my background saying “SEE?!  We TOLD you that lock needed to be changed…..*”

*and they’d TOTALLY say that, too – they’re not above a good “I told you so,” especially when they KNOW I’ve heard them….