Let’s see how this goes.
Tonight, after my shift with Mom, the girls and I are packing into the Puck and heading to the Cape to spend my two days off with Gerry, Honey, BlueMoon and NewMoon.
I can’t wait, but I won’t lie and tell you that I’m not more than a little anxious.
This will be the first time I’ve had off – completely off – since Mr. Chili’s surprise party on June 13th (and even then, I stopped in on my way through to check on how things were going). I’m afraid I’ve almost forgotten how to not be “on.”
I’ve been told, on no uncertain terms and by a pretty staggering array of people, that I need this time. I spoke with Ellie this morning (I wanted to give her an update on how the weekend went after the adjustment of Mom’s medication) and told her that I was going away. She made me promise to completely disengage; I’m not to call and, unless something really changes, no one is going to call me. “Enjoy yourself, enjoy your girls, and relax,” she said, and that’s exactly what I intend to do.
I’m not entirely sure how Mom feels about my leaving. I joked with her yesterday and told her that if she wants me to be with her when she passes, then she’s going to have to wait until at least Thursday to do it. I have the feeling that she’s displeased that I’m going, but I know that the logical part of her understands that it’s vital that I have some time away in order to continue to care for her at all. Then again, she’s pretty well medicated at the moment (we finally got her pain under control and, as a result, she’s spending a lot of time asleep); I’m not sure she’ll have any concept of the time that will pass while I’m gone.
I really wish that Mr. Chili could come with us, but he’s in it up to his eyebrows at work for the next two weeks. Regardless, I will be surrounded by people who love me exceedingly well; I have no doubt that they will feed my soul and I will return much more whole and peaceful than I was when I arrived.
Hello Mrs. Chili,
I’m one of those people who is following your blog but doesn’t know you (and vice versa!). I wish you the best time off… you deserve it. I have spent the last 9 years helping take care of my partially paralyzed father and…I hear you.
Just wanted to mention a book that a friend who is in a similar situation to yours found helpful, called Death Benefits (I know…what a title!). But she has a very tangled relationship with her mother and found the book very freeing.
With best wishes,
T.
Wishing you safe travels and a wonderful time.
Time with the girls to sing in the car!
Hooray!
Good. You need to recharge the batteries. I know I haven’t been commenting lately but I think of you often.
Please enjoy your time off with your girls. Safe journey.
Don’t worry…be happy!
Enjoy your time with the TBD family. I know they’ll take good care of you all.
The best way to deal with any crises is to get some good food and some sleep. Only after taking care of ourselves can we be of any help to anybody else.
Go and have a good time, you’ll be in good hands.
Good for you. Enjoy the break, and say hi to Gerry for me…
Enjoy yourself, my friend!
Safe journey. Enjoy the time with your family.
Have a wonderful time!
Enjoy!
I’m so glad you’re taking this time. You definitely need to take a break and recharge your batteries. Enjoy your time away. Get plenty of rest. You probably need rest at this point more than you realize.
Have FUN!!! {{{HUGS}}}
I’m so happy for this. I know you’re there and haven’t read about that yet, but so happy. Between when I last visited my mom and when she died (I wasn’t there for that), I took Chic to Disneyland for her 5th birthday. I made myself disengage. The caregiver called me once, I think in order to upset me and make sure I was having a miserable time, but I did not return the call. I LOVED my mom. I MISS her. But she would have understood and would want me to take care of my 5-year-old. Your mom would want the same, even if it might not seem like it.
I’m glad she’s sleeping more. Can’t imagine a lot of awake time and trying to deal with the pain that has to accompany it.