Ten Practical Presents.

People keep asking me the question, and I’m having a hard time coming up with good answers.  Here, then, are ten things I wouldn’t mind receiving for Christmas.  They may not be glamorous, but they sure are useful (at least, to me)!

1.  Burt’s Bees Lemon Butter Cuticle Cream and Radiance Exfoliating Body Wash:

image credit

I have little tins of the cuticle cream all over the place, and I always want more.  I use the body wash as my facial cleanser, and I love it.

2.  I’ve actually asked Santa for a new wiper for the back window of my car.

3.  Car wash and detail certificates would be so welcomed.  I hate it when my black car turns white in the winter, and I never have enough fortitude to vacuum the thing in the wintertime; it’s too cold, even in my garage, so by the time spring comes around (never soon enough), my car is just a rolling sandbox.

4.  Ink for my printer.  I just went to St*ples yesterday to buy a new cartridge for my printer and damn! that shit’s expensive!  I’ve got to get my kids to quit emailing me their papers (or I  need to learn to grade them online…).

5.  Office supplies.  Pens (these are my all-time favorites!), binder clips, tape, glue, sticky notes (especially the little flag kind that I use to mark up my books as I read), scissors, staplers, highlighters – pretty much all of it is always high on teachers’ wish lists (especially for teachers who have daughters who regularly make off with such things for their craft projects..).

6.  Vanilla beans.  Yeah, I know! You didn’t expect that, did you?  Seriously, though; last year, Meadmaker gave me a vacuum-sealed bag of 15 vanilla beans as a gift (it may have even been a Christmas gift, but it was just as likely for my birthday) and it was a fantastic present!  Of course, I have the horribly conflicting desire to use them all up and to hoard them as if they were the last on earth (I’m down to about six, and I’m going to have to use another one for the new bottle of rum I’m going to buy in a week or so).  Very little is as precious to a cook (especially one who specializes in baked goodies – or who likes vanilla rum in her dietcoke) as real vanilla beans.

7.  Garbage bags.  My town makes us buy special bags (boo!  hiss!) and I ALWAYS forget to buy new ones.  Having a stockpile would be awesome.

8.  Quarters.  My answer used to be “highway tokens,” but our state did away with those several years ago.  Still, I’m almost always short on change in the car, and a roll of quarters would serve not only to get me through tolls (I refuse to get an e-z pass) but would also feed meters when I can’t find a faculty parking spot at L.U.

9.  Vacuum cleaner bags.  Again, really not glamorous but, like the garbage bags, I never remember to buy new ones until I’m literally out (and up the proverbial creek because of it).  Pisses me off every time, and I always feel safer when I’ve got a package of the things in reserve.

10.  Lip balm.  Actually, Santa usually leaves this in our stockings, so we’re pretty well covered (heh) around this time of year.  Like the cuticle cream, lip balm is something I try to have in all my briefcases, a pocket of my jacket, the car, the bedside, my desk at school, next to the couch….

So!  What’s on YOUR practical list?

Happy Tuesday, Everyone!

In keeping with my attempts to really embody the holiday spirit this year, here’s another meme I boosted from Kwizgiver…

1. Hot chocolate or apple cider? I like them both.  I’ve found that I prefer my cider warm now, though, and I’m not sure when my preference changed…

2. Turkey or Ham? Turkey, but only because that’s what we have in the Chili family.  I’ll eat ham if it’s offered, but I don’t make it because Punkin’ Pie and I are the only ones who’ll eat it, and it’s hard to find a hunk of ham small enough for two people.

3. Do you get a fake or a real, you-cut-it-yourself Christmas tree? How long have you been hanging out here?  We cut our own from my grandfather’s cousin’s tree farm, and we usually cut down something in the 13-15 foot range.  We mean business.

4. Decorations on the outside of your house? No.  I’ve got something pretty and Christmas-y on the front door, and the tree goes in front of the set of three windows in the great room.  Oh, and the girls have taken to cutting out paper snowflakes every winter and hanging them in the center window of the three in the family room.  I used to not like it, but when the lights are on in the great room, the snowflakes look very pretty from the street.

5. Snowball fights or sledding? Neither.  I’ll stay inside and prepare the hot chocolate, thank you very much.

6. Do you enjoy going downtown shopping? I DO!  I had a lovely time shopping downtown Quaint Coastal City with O’Mama on her birthday on Friday.  Downtown shopping is usually a social activity for me, though; rarely do I go downtown with the intent of retail acquisition (unless, of course, I know what I want is there…).

7. Favorite Christmas song? I’ve answered this question about four times already – aren’t you getting sick of it yet?

8. How do you feel about Christmas movies? Well, that would depend on the movie, now, wouldn’t it?  OH!  You know what I AM looking forward to?  I had a little tradition for myself – just myself – in that I would watch Jerry Maguire while wrapping presents (after the girls had gone to bed and while Mr. Chili and Bruder were out doing their shopping).  I didn’t do that last year (and I’m not sure I did the year before, either), but I want to do it this year…

9. When is it too early to start listening to Christmas music? Anytime before Thanksgiving.  Honestly?  I think that Christmas music shouldn’t start until December 1st (and I think even that’s too early, but I’m willing to make concessions) and should be turned off at about 6:00 on Christmas night, but that’s just me…

10. Stockings before or after presents? Before.  Anyone with kids knows that stockings, left at the end of little people’s beds, buy parents a few more minutes of sleep on Christmas morning (more than a few minutes if there’s a Nintendo game in there!).

11. Carolers, do you or do you watch and listen to them? I would probably like caroling if I could do it someplace warm.  The idea of going out and singing in the stupid cold doesn’t appeal AT ALL.  No one has come to our door to sing, though I wouldn’t turn them away, I’d want them to come inside to do it; I’m too much the frugal (and heat loving) Yankee to just stand there enjoying their efforts with my front door wide open.

12. Go to someone else’s house or they come to you? FINALLY, they come to US!  It took a couple of years and enough stress to light the city of New York for a month, but we finally managed to throw the lever that switched the rails.  Christmas is at Chez Chili now, and no one raised even a bit of fuss about it this year.

13. Do you read the Christmas Story? No, but we have a tradition of reading bits of A Christmas Carol aloud every Christmas Eve at Mother and Father Chili’s house, and it’s a tradition I love.

14. What do you do after presents and dinner? I try to do a little cleaning up, but it’s mostly just lazing about, flipping through books or playing with new toys or games.  After the in-laws leave, I get back into my pajamas.  Oh, and there’s usually some kind of drinking…

15. What is your favorite holiday smell? I like the smell of our tree, but I only notice that for a few days.

16. Ice skating or walking around the mall? Neither, really, because I avoid the mall at all costs during this time of year.  If I had to choose, though, I’d pick the mall because, you know, it’s warm in the mall.

17. Do you open a present or presents on Christmas Eve, or wait until Christmas day?  As a kid, Auntie and I were allowed to open one gift on Christmas Eve.  We haven’t carried that tradition over, though, and the girls don’t seem to mind waiting.

18. Favorite Christmas memory? All of my Christmases with Mr. Chili have been really, really great.

19. Favorite Part about winter? Hello?  Have you met me?  My favorite part of winter is spring…

20. Ever been kissed under mistletoe? Yes, in fact; Mother Chili hangs a sprig at her house, and I make a point of positioning myself under it and making sure Mr. Chili sees me, glancing (and often pointing) at it…

Happy Monday!

I started composing this post on my way home from O’Mama’s house after practically gorging myself on potato latkes.

It WAS going to be a post about traditions and observances and all of the wonderful excuses we (and not just the O’Mama family and the Chili family, but we as a general observation) make to get together and enjoy one another.

What it’s turning out to be, though, is a brief rumination into the way I think and feel about my connections to others.

A very long story short is that, every once in a while, I get to feeling insecure about my lack of, what shall we call it?  Roots, I suppose.  Though I still do not, even for a second, regret having sawn myself off of my (twisted and diseased) family tree, I do sometimes feel anchor-less – and before you get all up in my stuff (ehem…Laurie!) let me finish.

I feel this more acutely around the holidays, though I suppose there’s no really good reason for that other than the hype and societal expectations about what the holidays are supposed to be about.  The fact that, every fucking year, my mother-in-law manages to work in some crack about my “family” doesn’t help much, but there’s something about the holidays (and everyone scurrying around to visit their families) that makes me feel a little left out (and, truth be told, that was a big motivation behind my campaigning to get Christmas at Chez Chili; I wanted to create an environment my sister could tolerate because I really, really wanted to be with her on Christmas).

I guess I’m thinking about this even MORE right now for a couple of reasons; first, I’ve spent quite a few hours in the last few days researching my biological ancestry and recognizing that I don’t feel any kind of connection to the people who came before me.  I know that a lot of people do genealogical studies to feel more grounded, more sure of who they are and where they come from.  It didn’t work that way for me; in fact, I probably would have preferred to investigate my adopted family more.  THOSE people mean something to me; the ones on the genealogical chart are just the means to my end.

I’m also suffering from occasional bouts of adrift-edness over the death of my mother.  I really wasn’t ready to lose her; I feel like I was just heading into a part of my life when I’d really need a mother, and I’m struggling now and then with the feeling of being really on my own, especially when it comes to being a mother myself.  There are others I can lean on, though, so I know I’m not alone, but every once in a while, I get little flashes of “it’s all you now, kid!  Good luck with that!.“

Finally, I had a nightmare about my biologicals last night, and I’m pretty sure that’s contributing to my musings about being included in my friends’ traditions (though it also reinforces that the parental energy is something I really don’t need in my life).

For all of that woe-is-me, motherless child crap, I do recognize that I have a wonderful, strong, close-knit bunch of chosen family, of which the O’Mama clan plays a major role (and I feel compelled to include Sphyrnatude in this collection, as well; he matters more to me than I ever expected he would when we first met).  I’m almost taking for granted that I (and, by extension, my family) are welcome to certain of their celebrations – most notably the Passover seder and the annual latke madness.  There is something incredibly affirming about that for me, especially this week.  I know I belong, and that matters.

(photo credit goes to O’Mama.  I sent her a text asking for a picture of THE latkes, and she got right on that.  She’s really cute in her adoration of her new phone…)

Happiest of Chanukahs, my dear friends!

image credit

If not fun, housekeeping is satisfying.

No; seriously…

I saw these when I was out celebrating O’Mama’s birthday with a stroll around the shops of Quaint Coastal City.  At first, I didn’t believe it, either, but the nice boy behind the counter assures me that there’s actual bacon in those chocolate bars.  I just didn’t have the guts to actually pony up the cash to try one.

T.V., you were the FIRST person I thought of.

So here’s the deal; Punkin’ Pie came home with an assignment the other day that asked her to research her family tree.  I’m not entirely sure WHY she has to do this, though I know that it involves ethnic food (I’ll show her how to bake a pan of shortbread and call it even).  A week or so ago, Auntie sent me a text asking how much of our family history I know (short answer?  “Not much”).  She’s got a school project to do, too.

Given that these people, whom I love very much, both have similar tasks assigned to them, I decided to pony up the 20 bucks and sign myself up for a month of membership on ancestry.com to see how much I could help them

After an hour on the site, I have a screaming headache and I’m pretty fucking pissed off.

What the hell is up with this?  I find a record, right?  THIS is my grandfather, I’m 100%, iron-clad sure of it.  WHY, dear Goddess, WHY can I not just click on that name and have whatever records are attached to his name, birth and death dates come up?!  Why, for the love of all that is holy, do I come up with someone who is NOT my grandfather when I check all the boxes for an “exact-fucking- search”?!  And what the fuck is up with the fact that when I ask for marriage records, all I come up with are divorce records?!  Really, the only luck I’ve had is with the SS Death Registry.  What I REALLY want are birth records; those have parents’ names on them and will lead me back a generation, but NO! I can’t get to those!

Do any of you do genealogy stuff?  Can you help a girl out, please, because I don’t know how much of this shit I can take!

(and I want my stinkin’ 20 bucks back.)

Yeah…

Tonight


Snow
Likely
Lo 22 °F

Wednesday


Heavy
Snow
Hi 36 °F

My dearest wish is that it either starts early enough to cancel school altogether or holds off until we can all get home. Sigh…

Ten things I’ve been tempted to say lately, but haven’t:

1.  Do you have any idea how stupid you sounded just then?

2.  Really?  THAT’S what you’re going to wear?

3.  I do not care.  No, really; I don’t.

4.  Turn it sideways and shove it up your ass.

5.  Wow; really?  You’re that petty?

6.  …because I know how to do my job, that’s how…

7.  Prepare for a career in fast food or convenience retail, kid.

8.  You’re really going to look me in the face and hand me that line of bullshit?  Wow; you’ve got some stones.

9.  You really don’t know how what you’re saying sounds to me right now, do you?

10.  That’s the best ya got?