Don’t Ask Me Why…

… but I feel compelled to tell you that today is my biological father’s 59th birthday.

I haven’t seen the man in almost a decade, and I don’t feel the least bit of regret or sadness about that; in fact, it’s best for me and my family that I haven’t had anything to do with him in that time.  Still, for all of that, I harbor no overt ill-will against the man; I’ve moved on and I don’t have the energy to hate him anymore, but neither do I want any of his influence in my life.

I’m marking his birthday, though.  For him, I’m sending some good energy out into the universe.  Just because I want him utterly separate from me doesn’t mean I can’t wish him well for his own sake, right?



Filed under memorials, ruminating

10 responses to “Don’t Ask Me Why…

  1. This is why I like you so much – you’re very generous.

  2. twoblueday

    I think I felt some of that good energy in Chatham this evening.

  3. You’re a bigger person than most.

    For me, it was my grandmother. I never even remembered her birthday. No ill will, but nothing good from me, either. Just nothing. Now it’s her daughters, my aunts. (She left a wonderful legacy in them.) Still, nothing. May I need to think about thinking enough about them to wish good things their way periodically.

  4. Your experience with biological families must be far more dramatic than mine, so props for doing what you’re doing. I know I’m not doing such things for my adoptive father…

  5. Sending out positive energy is never a bad thing and like pottedfrog said, you’re the bigger person. It’s one of the things we really like about you!

  6. You are very grown up arent you Mrs Chili! Good for you! Hate always hurts the hater more than the hatée…moving on is the only solution, but not always easy to do…

  7. That’s generous of you, but I hope the best of the energy comes right back to you.

  8. kwizgiver

    I was just going to say exactly what Rosie said… hate hurts the hater more.

  9. Laurie B

    The people I love, I love with complete delight. Over time, the people that I’ve had to dismiss from my life have been tossed into my “I completely don’t care” folder. Hate takes so much energy. Not caring is much more energy efficient.

    Your idea of sending good energy for them is very generous. I might try it but probably not.

    Have a wonderful time with the twobluedays!

  10. whodoesshethinksheisanyway

    I have been thinking about this since you posted it. I remembered it was his birthday too but the thought went out of my head as soon as it came in.
    While I don’t hate him, I don’t have it in me to send any positive energy. In fact, I will put myself out there and say that while I used to feel a bit sad that he is constantly in physical pain, this last year when I think about the sins (for lack of a better word) of his past, I think he is getting what he deserves. Not very enlightened I know, it’s just where I’m at right now.

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