Daily Archives: April 8, 2009

I Want Wednesday


I want people to stop framing the marriage debate in terms of love.

Look, I’m ALL ABOUT the love.  I think that the whole point of our very existence is rooted in love.  I know what it means to be in love (living, as I have, in an environment decidedly lacking in the stuff and living, as I do now, in a practically fairy-tale marriage and family) and I understand its power to transform lives.

The political debate about marriage, though, is not – should not – be about love.  It’s about equal rights.  It’s about equity and fairness.  It’s about living up to the creed of our Constitution and recognizing that all people are created equal; not just the white, educated, landed, heterosexual ones, but every one.  It’s about extending the same rights, privileges, and responsibilities to every citizen.

I think a lot of the fear that comes from the opposition to marriage equality comes from a fear of homosexual love.  Some people just don’t get it – they can’t understand how two people of the same gender can actually be in love – and  they may never understand it, and you know what?  That’s okay.  They don’t have to understand the emotion behind it, but they do have to concede, at some point, that legislating a particular group out of rights afforded to the rest of the group is simply and plainly wrong.

I want people – especially those in favor of equal marriage – to keep the debate out of the personal lives of those involved.  I am not, in ANY way, denying that love is at the core of this discussion; I just said that I believe that love is the very reason we’re all here.  My point is that I don’t think that love is what we’re fighting for.  We already love; gays and lesbians have been loving one another since time began and will continue to do so whether or not their unions are legally recognized.  It’s the political rights we’re after, and love has precious little to do with politics.  Love isn’t logical, and this debate needs reasoned, logical voices calmly explaining that keeping a significant portion of the population out is wrong.

Don’t even get me started about keeping religion out of it…


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