Clean Cars, Wrecked Surprises, and Giddy Expectations

It’s been a day, y’all, and it’s not over yet.

The first part of my day was pretty mundane; washing dishes, bread baking, making muffins out of the three bananas that were starting to try to camouflage themselves against my black counter top, the usual.  Nothing much to report, unless you’re into that sort of thing.

I went to Local U. to teach my yoga class (and the Parking Goddess, glorious, fabulous, and generous bitch that she is, took good care of me again!  THANKS, Baby!) and, after, went to lunch with my beloved.

Here’s where it all went a little wrong.  I  need to backtrack.

A few weeks ago – just about when Auntie started going on about spring training and opening day –  I got it into my head that it might be nice to send my beloved, along with a couple of his oldest and dearest, to a baseball game.  I contacted those oldest and dearests to inform them of my thinking.

Well, BoBo has changed email addresses recently, so his part of the message, which I sent using the old address, got kicked back to me as undeliverable.  Figuring it was the quickest way to reach him, I fired off a “what’s your email address?” text.  He responded while Mr. Chili was in the room with me.

Who’s that?  What’s he want?  Why is he texting you?”  The questions went on.

Then, the other day, the OTHER oldest and dearest (Dudley, by name) called me to let me know about a detail in the plans.  Mr. Chili happened to be in the room when he called.  I handed the phone off to Mr. Chili, so the two of them could talk about the Sox game, and later told him that Dudley had hit my cell phone on the list instead of his by mistake, but he clearly didn’t buy it.

So, this afternoon, I’m driving him back to his office when it starts again.  “Why did BoBo text you?  Why is Dudley calling YOU?  What’s going on?  You suck at lying; I know something is going on – what is it?

OH, for the LOVE OF CHRIST!  FINE!  You want to know what’s going on?  I was TRYING to get the three of you together to see a Sox game, and I needed to know when they were available to come up.  You happy now?  I can’t do a SINGLE nice thing for you without your knowing about it ahead of time!  GRRR!

I love him.

He’s a pain in my ass.

After lunch – and while I was still fuming a little – I decided to get my car washed.  That’s helped my mood considerably.  Now, the Puck is all shiny and clean and awaiting my assault with the Shop-Vac.   I’m hoping that the bit of carpet cleaner I sprayed on the spot where Punkin’ let a Lindt ball melt all over the seat will be effective.  Wish us luck.

After the girls and Mr. Chili return home, we’ll take my newly-cleaned baby halfway across the state to have dinner at Bertucci’s with Auntie and The Girl!  I cannot WAIT to meet her, and I’m practically beside myself with anticipation.  While The Girl has stated that expectations are merely “premeditated resentments,” that’s not stopping me from fully expecting that we’re going to have a wonderful time, that we’ll understand within minutes why Auntie’s been so happy lately, and that The Girl’s going to melt seamlessly into our family.

So there!


Filed under celebration, cooking, dumbassery, family matters, Friends, frustrations, funniness, Home and Family, Little Bits of Nothingness, road trip!, strange but true, technical difficulties

10 responses to “Clean Cars, Wrecked Surprises, and Giddy Expectations

  1. Maybe the wrecking of surprises is just a guy thing (and the sucking at lying is just a girl thing). I, for example, if I want to, can figure out what Cookiemaker is getting me for a present with relatively little effort. She, on the other hand, has yet to figure out what I’m going to get her for Xmas, her birthday, out anniversary, Easter, Valentine’s Day, etc., etc., etc…

    You wanna know what the easiest way to keep Mr. Chili from wrecking your surprises is? Don’t lie. Simply say “You’ll find out when I want you to find out” or “You don’t need to know that right now” or “I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you” or something similarly infuriating.

    Sure, he’ll know something’s up, but he won’t know WHAT’S up.

    Oh, and if he keeps badgering you about it even after you’ve used that method, just tell him if he doesn’t stop asking he’s not getting any sex.:)

  2. Have a wonderful time at dinner tonight! I love hearing that everyone is so happy.

  3. Just Elizabeth

    I agree with nhfalcon. The best way is to not lie. I did that with my long-distance boyfriend (he’s in the UK) for Christmas. He was all over me wanting to know what his Christmas gift was that I told him it was a robe when, in actuality, I had sent him PJs. He was rather disappointed when he found out I hadn’t gotten him a robe like I said I would so I made it a point to send him a robe for his birthday last month.

    My boyfriend hates surprises, which is why he likes to poke and prode until he finds out whatever it is.

    I hate surprises being ruined so in the future I’m not going to lie anymore. I’ll just tell him he’ll find out when he finds out.

  4. twoblueday

    Halfway across the state?! What, about like me driving to Mt. Dora? Ha!

    Hope it is a wonderful get together. Maybe the Girl will come visit Cape of Cod this summer.

    I’m just the opposite about surprises and such, I don’t ask anything, and if secrets seem to be about, I don’t ask about them either.

  5. My husband is like that too, he cannot STAND to not know exactly what is going on all the time. I get an IM, and if he’s in the room, he MUST know who it was and what they wanted.

  6. kizzbeth

    I’m reading this at 7pm and barely suppressing the urge to text and see if dinner is meeting your expectations.

    My mother was always one for letting me guess and saying yes to whatever my guess was. I enjoy that tactic. Don’t have much use for it, though, I’m a pretty good liar and I like surprises so I let people do what they like for me.

  7. Hope the family dinner was as wonderful as you expected it to be!

  8. Hope the family dinner was as wonderful as you expected it to be!
    Oops…forgot to say great post! Looking forward to your next one.

  9. Laurie B

    It’s always just easier to have my BEW in on the plans, whatever they are. We both enjoy the planning, I like to cook and she wants to know “plan A”, and neither of us like surprises.

  10. Xena

    I like to make shit up when someone asks about text and phone messages/calls:

    1. It’s Jesus. You’re in a lot of fucking trouble.
    2. Oh, it’s Lindsay Lohan. Drinks are on you tonight.
    3. My biker friend…you know… the one with the bad temper when you ask about his phone calls.
    4. It’s your mother…The Fire Dept. just left and she needs help cleaning up.

    It’s more fun than telling the truth or lying realistically.

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