The Rapture is scheduled for the day after tomorrow (that’s Saturday, if you’re not inclined to do the math). According to my sources, the Rapture will begin in Australia and continue around the world. It will hit the U.S. at 6 p.m. Eastern time, and then roll with the time zones, so those of you on the West Coast will have three more hours than we here in the East to get yourselves right with Jeebus. Those of us “left behind” will have to suffer through unimaginable terrors until the Earth is obliterated on October 21st of this year.
It seems terrible to say it, but I kinda feel like this about the whole thing:
Got any plans for the weekend?