I’ve been thinking a lot about change lately. Here are just some of my brain droppings:
First of all, two of the things I spend a lot of internet time with have changed recently, and I’m trying to decide how I feel about that. I mean, what’s up with facebook? Can anyone explain to me what happened, and whether or not I can customize my feed to go back to the “most recents” tab that I used? Is there any way to get that annoying right sidebar to shut up? I LIKED seeing which friends were online in a little box on the left, and I don’t need a constant ticker of who’s commenting where. It all feels too OCD for me, and I’ve found that, since the switch, I’m spending less time on facebook (if I’ve missed something important, please let me know).
When I came here to post this entry, I discovered that a couple of things in WordPress are different, too, though these changes are smaller and not nearly as unsettling as the facebook changes seem to me. The shortcuts at the top of my page are altered, and it doesn’t look like I can post to any of my blogs from a central location – I have to go to the site to post to it. What’s up with that? I’ve noticed a few other changes in WordPress over the last month or so, but none of them affected the way I do business, so to speak, so they didn’t really merit much notice. This posting thing, though? I’m not sure I like it.
Lastly, I’ve been thinking about the ways in which relationships change. I’ve been eyeball deep in thinking about my edges and limits, and about whether or not someone’s behavior toward someone else should – or does – affect either the way I feel about them (kinda like that idea that someone who is not nice to the waitress is not a nice person) or should have a determining factor in whether or not I continue to maintain the relationship. Kizz and I were chatting about this the other day, and she posted this that, I think, sums up quite nicely some of the intellectual work I’ve been doing:
Now is the time to retreat, regroup and refocus efforts in directions where there is a reasonable expectation of change. Oh how I hope for change. Hoping, however, is not enough so work will follow.
I think where I’m getting hung up is on the very real possibility that change isn’t possible, and that makes me both profoundly sad and bitterly angry. I may be very close to knowing that I’ve finally had enough.