I think this is going to be a hard one.
I was talking to Sweet Pea the other day, and she told me that she’s been trying – deliberately and mindfully – to stay positive in the face of all the ugly and mean that dominates our day to day. To that end, she’s making a list of all the GOOD things that happened in 2012 and she suggested that I do the same (which, I’m not going to lie, is likely going to present a challenge. 2012 has been a really, really hard year for me; it was not at all what I had hoped as I ushered 2011 out the door).
Here, then, are 10 things that went right this year. Some of them may be a little backhanded (where I’m glad that something didn’t happen, or I highlight a silver lining) and some of them may be lame, but I’ve got what I’ve got.
1. Sweet Pea is still here. She’s healthy and whole and emerging from her darkness, and that may well be the best thing to happen in my world this year. Even though I’m not listing things in any particular order, this one is definitely #1.
2. My grandmother didn’t suffer months of dying. A friend of mine likes to say “if it can’t be good, let it be quick.” It was, and while I miss my grandmother every single day, I’m glad that she made a hasty exit when it was time to go.
3. The Chili family has developed a strong and intimate connection with Sweet Pea’s biologicals, and it’s a relationship that I’m really cherishing.
4. This is another one of the backhanded positives; I got Bowyer back. I am sad to say that it took his wife’s leaving him to get him back in my orbit, but I am grateful, every day, that this man is a regular feature in my life again. Anam Cara, indeed.
5. President Obama was re-elected. This is a foundational positive in my life at the moment; I’m not sure I could cope with what’s going on post-Sandy Hook if I were anticipating a different occupant in the White House.
6. Mr. Chili is still employed, and reasonably securely so. There are some changes and restructurings happening at his workplace, but we’re pretty certain that he’ll emerge from the shake-ups with a job (whether he’ll still be at Local U. is still up in the air, but still…).
7. Another backhanded one; I’m actually glad to not be working at CHS anymore. The more I hear about what’s going on there, the more convinced I am that, had I not been jettisoned last summer, I’d be perfectly miserable right now and working myself up so hard that I’d be sick all the time. I miss the kids like crazy, and I do wish that I were working, but I’m glad that I’m no longer in a position of having to compromise my ethics for a job.
8. I was accepted into the CAGS program, and I’m reasonably confident that I nailed the class I was taking. The Paper is pretty good, if I do say so myself, and I’m expecting that to reflect in the grade I receive for the class.
9. My people are all reasonably healthy. Mother Chili is beginning her decent, I think, but not in any precipitous or alarming way; she’s falling down more often and will tell us the same story several times over the course of a single dinner, or she’ll completely deny being told something when there were witnesses to the telling. Dad, at nearly-91 (in February) is still chugging along just fine. The girls are healthy; Mr. Chili and I are healthy; it’s all good.
10. There was laughter and comfort and friendship in my life this year. For that, I am always grateful.