Truly, my biggest fear is unanticipated loss.
I can deal with the terminal diagnoses. I can handle the death I can see coming. In fact, I’ve been given several opportunities to hone certain skills in that arena, and each time I think I’ve done exceedingly well.
I’m afraid of the middle of the night phone call. I’m afraid of the police officer at the door. I’m afraid of the crash or the heart attack or the random act of violence that no one knew would happen until it was all over.
I try not to think about it too much, but that’s what I’m truly afraid of.