As of this morning, I’m down 17 pounds from where I was when I got serious about regaining control over my body.
Back in Feburary, I bought myself a fitbit, I signed up to myfitnesspal.com, and I committed to exercising in some shape or form every day. With the exception of a few days of vacation (and some of them don’t count because, in D.C., I literally walked for miles every day), I’ve kept that commitment. I moved an elliptical machine into the basement, I’m accepting every sub gig I can at the gyms where I work, I’ve added strength training to my rotation, and I’m taking myself out for combination walks-runs around my neighborhood when the weather allows it. I get in at least an hour of sweat-inducing movement every day, and it’s starting to make a difference.
I executed the Great Clothes Switch this weekend and found myself having to try on damned near every bottom I own. I’m able to fit into things that I’ve had stored for years because they were too small, and I had to put into storage things that are too big now. I bought an adorable little dress a few weeks ago and wore it to my sister’s graduation on Friday; something I never would have even considered putting on last spring. A few days ago, I found myself regretting not taking a “before” picture so that *I* can see the difference in my shape, but I’ve had several people comment that *they* can see a difference, and I’m taking their word for it.
My only concern is that I’m finding that this effort is occupying a lot of my energy. I find myself getting a little anxious if I think I can’t fit a workout in, and I’m spending a little too much time thinking about food and what I can “afford” to have. I understand now, a little better than I did before, how this can become an obsession for some people. To that end, I’m making SURE that I have SOMETHING every day that I want, but that I maybe “shouldn’t” have – some chocolate, for example, or ice cream (in fact, Mr. Chili and I shared a hot fudge sundae after lunch today). I’m trying to stay centered; I don’t want this to be my central focus.
The upshot, though, is that some of my confidence is coming back. I feel good, and I feel like I look good, too, and that’s helping my self-esteem a lot more than maybe it should. Now, if I can only land a good job….