Quick Hit: Welling Up

So, I posted an article on my facebook page this morning about this stunningly offensive ad that someone in the GOP thought was just a dandy idea.

Mark, a facebook friend whom I’ve not yet met in real life, said this in response:

The only people buying this load is the extremists in their base. Women are going to carry this country back to sanity in November. Mark my words.

I responded that I am going to do MY part (in that I’m going to vote, and I’m going to make it as likely as possible others vote, too; I’m already taking the day off so I can volunteer to drive people to the polls, and my neighbor is likely going to rope me into volunteering for part of the day at my polling place, as well).

Mark came back with this:

I’ve got your back. Let’s get em.

I was wholly unprepared for how that comment hit me square in the chest, and I found myself welling up over it.

I very often feel alone out here, screaming into the void, being quietly dismissed (or outright ignored) by the people who should be standing – and screaming – next to me. Another facebook friend (who I DO know in real life) mentioned – actually mentioned to me – that when I get to be “too much” for her, she just hides me from her feed. As a consequence of that (and a few other things), I’ve been feeling pretty outnumbered lately.

Mark has my back. That’s what I needed to keep going this week.

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13 Comments

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13 responses to “Quick Hit: Welling Up

  1. Brandon

    The ad is a bit cheesy, but it is clearly a take-off on the TLC show “Say Yes To The Dress.” Not being privy to what you posted on your Facebook page, I don’t know whether you realized that or not, although I assume that wouldn’t necessarily change your opinion much on the matter.

    I am always stuck by comments, like the one you posted from your friend Mark, that treat women as some sort of monolithic block that all believe the same thing and support the same policies.

    What about women that vote for the Republican candidate? Are they not “real” women? Perhaps they are just self-hating and voting against their own best interests? When did being liberal become a qualification for being a woman?

    Nice to have you back blogging by the way (and that isn’t sarcasm).

    • Hi Brandon. I’m Mark. I am interested in how you consider my comment to Mrs C as “monolithic”. In the republican extremist base, there are, of course women. And gays, and blacks. Despite my own incredulity at how the right is able to get so many people to vote against their own self interests. The right treats women like personal property. Women spoke up loud and clear in 2012 at the polls, but the right is still not listening. Tone deaf if you will. Anyone voting against their own self interests is either misinformed, or just flat unintelligent. The right is their own worst enemy. Women’s rights are everyone’s rights, and the GOP means to usurp years of progress that women have been able to accomplish in a misogynistic society. I, for one, have no desire to return to the bad old days where women were only a slave class to men. To view women as anything but dynamic, intelligent and equal is not only monolithic, but very unwise. The GOP is about to learn this lesson the hard way.

    • Brandon

      Hi Mark. I would consider it monolithic because your side treats women as just another one of their identity groups that apparently all think the same way and support the same kinds of policies – or at least should in order to be the right kind of woman.

      Those other women, as mentioned in the comments, apparently have no self respect, are misinformed or unintelligent and lack the capacity for empathy. To me, that looks more like view that ses women “as anything but dynamic, intelligent and equal.” My wife and the other female friends in our life are nothing of the sort.

      The GOP isn’t about to learn any hard lessons come November. There is a good chance they will take the Senate and if they don’t, then they will certainly have a net gain of seats and the House isn’t flipping so it will pretty much be the status quo.

  2. Brandon, thanks; it’s good to be back. I find that I’m better – a better person, a better thinker, a better teacher, a better mother and friend and partner – when I’m writing.

    As to your comment, I have, in fact, lost women friends because I’ve challenged them about their identification as republican. While it is true that MOST people are multi-issue voters, I have a hard time understanding how anyone with any capacity at all for empathy would wish to identify with the Republican party, and even more so for women. The Republican message about women is demeaning, degrading, and often violent. I DO wonder how any self-respecting woman would be a Republican.

  3. To quote you…”To me, that looks more like view that ses women “as anything but dynamic, intelligent and equal.” My wife and the other female friends in our life are nothing of the sort.” I am pretty sure that your wife will appreciate knowing that you consider her and her friends something other than “dynamic, intelligent and equal.” That is the tone deafness, that will cause the GOP to find themselves being handed their own asses, and still wondering what happened at the end of the cycle. Thanks for proving my point so beautifully, and yet with such profound irony. And you can’t see it. John Cleese was right.

  4. Brandon

    Keep all the rah-rah chest thumping going Mark. That is the easiest thing to do when you want to ignore what the actual reality of the situation is. And one poorly arranged sentence on my part does not imply any sort of tone deafness, but I guess that’s all you have to reach for.

    As I mentioned before, a reasonable person would see that there is a good chance the Senate will flip and if it doesn’t then things stay pretty much the same. I’d hardly call that the GOP getting their asses handed to them. What do you actual think is going to happen?

    • The Republicans are fractured. Not a single tea party candidate won their primary. The republican gerrymandering is not going well, seeing how transparent it is. There will be a much higher turnout as predicted by the progressives, due to grassroots organizing that the press does not really report on. Like Mitt in 2012, the republicans are listening to their own internal polling and not listening to the bipartisan (neutral) polling, plus using exceptionally low numbers for respondents for their numbers and polling only likely voters as oppressed to registered ones. Both the mainstream and extreme right are not listening to their own constituency. Kentucky will go blue, with Mitch McConnell losing to Grimes. The republicans will hold the house (just barely) after losing several seats. The democrats will hold the senate, with the republicans losing several seats, expanding the majority on the left side of the aisle. Kansas gubernatorial race is an excellent example of republican about to be handed their own asses. NC and will most likely go blue due to the failure of the republicans there to successfully accomplish voter suppression tactics. You need to take more of an interest in statistical politics my friend, as politics has taken a keen interest in you. Rick Santorum expressed the state of the republican party when he said that “Smart people will never stand with us”. There’s a great reason for that. Smart people know better than to vote against their own self interests. Mark these comments on your calendar, so you can refer to them the day after the November elections when Priebus and company begin their next autopsy on the election, and decide which direction the 6th re branding of the republican party will take. oh…btw…badly worded or not, your statement about your wife and her friends is pretty much in line with the rehetoric that that has been uttered by numerous party members, they simply cannot help themselves. The honestly think that everyone thinks like they do, and that women are stupid and will just agree with them. In November, exit polling will show a large percentage of women voting blue, even if only as protest voting. The dynamics and the demographics has changed, and the right has not changed with them. They’re due for a wake up call and they’re about to get it.

  5. Brandon, no one is saying that women are single-issue voters. What Mark and I ARE saying is that it is astonishing to us that women (and blacks, and minorities, and poor people) would vote for republicans when they have a proven record of making life HARDER for those people.

    MY hope is that the blue base gets off their collective asses and votes in the mid-term elections to the extent that the republicans lose their majorities. I don’t feel certain that that WILL happen, but it CAN if enough of us bother to make our voices heard.

    • Brandon

      I do understand that is what you are saying. You can’t fathom how any of these groups could actually vote Republican and that is what I take issue with. You expect women, minorities, etc. to think a certain way and if they don’t then they are apparently misinformed or unintelligent.

      Has it ever occurred to your side that these groups are made up of individuals that may have come to a different conclusion after examining the issues? It is the height of condescension to think that it is incumbent on various groups of people to all think and believe a certain way by virtue of their sex or skin color.

      • That people come to conclusions after self analysis is part of the human condition. You insult my intelligence even asking. You press a sexist point. I am finished debating with you, because you simply do not look at the current statistical analysis of the upcoming election from all sides. In this your are grossly misinformed, and your rhetoric is simply shooting from the lip and has no actual relevance to reality. You should do a little research and reading up on the data. Remarkable thing about solid data, data is data no matter what you choose to believe. I’m reasonably sure that you know how to use Google. Do some real research, something beyond Fox news. Polling data. Check out the election night video of Carl Rove, having a most telling breakdown. I will never change your mind. But maybe a little research will give you a little something to think and worry about. See you at the polls.

      • Brandon

        The funny thing in all of this is that I’m not really arguing that much with you about the upcoming election, but you seem to think that I am. My beef was really with the expectations that women should be voting a particular way.

        I told you what I thought the likely outcome was – Republicans holding the House, with a good chance to take the Senate or at least pick up a few seats. You were talking a lot about ass-handing and wake up calls so I wanted to know what you thought the outcome would be and you told me. All fine and well. I wasn’t particularly interested in discussing it much after that.

        I have read the latest polling results on sites like Real Clear Politics and I stay abreast of much of the latest news and conclude that your bravado is unwarranted. Democrats aren’t picking up seats in BOTH houses.

        Anyway, you appear now to have had your intelligence insulted and claim I press a sexist point (that one really baffles me, but I guess that is a pretty standard rejoinder from your side, as well as that shout out to Fox News). See you at the polls.

  6. Brandon

    Well, hello again Mark!

    “Mark these comments on your calendar, so you can refer to them the day after the November elections when Priebus and company begin their next autopsy on the election, and decide which direction the 6th re branding of the republican party will take.”

    I took heed and marked my calendar so that I could return to find myself amazed at how prescient your analysis was!

    “…because you simply do not look at the current statistical analysis of the upcoming election from all sides. In this your are grossly misinformed, and your rhetoric is simply shooting from the lip and has no actual relevance to reality.”

    I have no idea what data you were looking at, but it clearly had no relationship with reality and you were the one shooting from the lip. That was quite the ass-handing and I am still basking in the afterglow of the Republican wave that swept through the both the federal and state levels.

    “They’re due for a wake up call and they’re about to get it.” Snort!

  7. Eh… I’m not ready to concede “ass-handing” or “sweeping,” Brandon. Yeah, Democrats lost – and lost handily – but let’s not forget that the voter turnout numbers are in competition to be the lowest since World War II. That record numbers of voters DIDN’T vote tells me that it was less of a victory than is being claimed.

    http://www.npr.org/2014/11/05/361820838/midterm-elections-may-have-had-record-low-turnout

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