I signed up for a once-a-day email course in letting go.
I’ve been finding that I’m tense and uptight when I didn’t used to be. I have trouble sleeping, I don’t feel as though I’ve been thinking clearly, and I seem to be having a hard time thinking clearly and focusing.
Almost all of that stress is work-related. I’m doing what I love, but I’m doing it in a place in which I really don’t fit well, and that bothers almost every part of my life. I’m hopeful that this course will help me to prioritize what’s important, release what doesn’t serve me, and help me find some balance.
Today’s lesson asks us to reflect on our goals for the course, and I thought perhaps that this might be a good place to put them.
- How I hope to feel as a result of clearing what no longer serves and supports me is: I would like to be able to sleep well. I’ve been having anxiety dreams – frenetic, pointless, busy dreams that leave me feeling more tired than I was went I went to bed the night before – and I feel generally restless and uptight in my waking hours. It would be a bonus if I could feel better about my professional situation, though I recognize that a lot of that is beyond my control. I would like to feel as though I’m thinking clearly and that I’m able to focus; I feel as though I’m scattered and frantic most of the time.
- What I hope to let go of is: the feeling that I’m powerless. I have a lot of good ideas and I can see a clear way to implement them; I’m just not sure that I can do it where I am now, so I would like to give up the feeling that I can’t do it at all, that because I’m only one person, I don’t have the resources or the wherewithal to do big things.
- What I hope to attract is: clarity, confidence, and balance. I want to feel organized and effective, and to attract people who think and feel the same way I do. I want to build a team that gets things done, and that supports each other while we’re doing it.
- How does “clutter” show up in your life? I tend not to suffer too much from physical clutter; though there are a lot of extraneous things in my life, I’m pretty good at clearing the excess out relatively often (in fact, I currently have a trunk-load of stuff that I can bring to the thrift shop; I need to make a point of doing that soon). My brain is cluttered, though, with to-do lists and scattered tasks, and with a lot of plans and ideas and hopes. I’ve been working on getting these things on paper and out of my head, but I find that I often think of things that I want or need to do in the car or the shower or, worse, just before I fall asleep. I’ll focus on getting better at putting these things down (and checking them off); I learned how to use the reminder feature on my phone the other day, so I’ll make better use of that. I’m also working with my students on weekly goals; I’ll use that as an opportunity to put my short-term stuff in order.
Today is the Solstice, so it feels right that I’m beginning to put these ideas in place today; this day feels like a good day for fresh starts.