Category Archives: funniness

Nearly Wordless Wednesday

This isn’t photoshopped.   Go to thesaurus.com and look up “fascist.”  Seriously.

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Filed under dumbassery, funniness, politics

Birthday Love

Today, my precious friend and soul mate Bowyer celebrates another year of life on Earth, and I get an excuse to write a love note to him in honor of the occasion.

I met Bowyer in college.  We were both attending a summer program in teaching that required a couple of days “bonding” as a group in the mountains (which both of us just barely endured, and not without a hefty dose of scathing sarcasm) and six weeks running a classroom (which we did as a team), and I remember my first impressions of him as if it happened yesterday and not 17 years ago.  He was confident, matter-of-fact, and hysterically funny, and he remains those things to this day.  I think it took us all of two days to recognize that we were going to be important to each other – he was drawn to me and I to him in ways and for reasons that neither of us can adequately explain, even now -  and by the time we finished the program, we were best friends.

There are about a zillion things that I love about this man, but the top of the list is that he is genuine and he is constant.  Bowyer is someone who understands who he is and what’s important to him, and though he’s not the kind of man to resist change if it’s needed, he is the person I point to when I need to give an example of someone who is exactly what he says he is.  There is a kind of bedrock, foundational trustworthiness in his character; I know that what I’m seeing is what I’m getting, and I deeply respect that in him.

My friend makes me laugh all the time.  He is the master of the one-liner (“She has a head?!”), and he tells a fantastic story; in fact, his storytelling prowess is second only in my estimation to that of my sister.  He understands how a good narrative works, he understands just about all the shades of funny, and his enthusiasm in telling his stories makes them that much more entertaining.  I love it when his eyes bug out.

Bowyer is one of the most ethical professionals I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.  He is a teacher, like me, and he approaches his work with a kind of practical efficiency that I have long admired; he loves his students in very different ways than I do, but there is no mistaking that he loves them.  A few years ago, he was challenged by administration about his grades, and he stood his ground and insisted that the students demonstrate that they know the material before they get the grade.  It was a difficult time for him, and he could have just knuckled under and done what the administration wanted him to do, but he refused to change the grades of kids who did not do the work to his standards because he knew he wouldn’t be doing right by the students.  Bowyer’s entire life is informed by doing what he knows is right.

Bowyer is also a woodworking craftsman, and the work that he produces is exquisite.  He sets high standards for himself, and he continually meets them.  His work is careful, precise, and beautiful, and he carries those qualities over into his day-t0-day work, as well; when he cleans the house, it’s clean - there are no corners cut when he’s working, and I love that about him.  He really embodies the Yankee work ethic.

When we first met, Bowyer was pretty clear that he didn’t want children.  The problem, though, was that he was in love with someone who did, and he ended up agreeing to becoming a parent (twice!).  While he jokes about it now (“We could have gone on with our happy fucking little lives… but NO!  YOU people wanted to have kids!”), he has grown into a really fantastic father.  His sons are smart, confident, and loving young men, and my heart melts a little to see him interact with them (knowing, as I do, how hesitant he was to take on this role and seeing how beautifully he’s grown into it).  His first thought is always about how his decisions are going to affect the boys, and he goes out of his way to make sure that they have what they need first; everything else comes after that.

Bowyer is my “person;” someone I know that I can call on at any time, for any reason, and he’ll drop everything to be there for me, regardless of how long it’s been since we last saw one another or what’s going on in his life at the moment.  He is, without question, the first person I’d call if tragedy struck; I know that he’d be able to make decisions and take care of things that I may not have the capacity to think about, and I know that I’d be well cared-for in his presence.  The amazing thing about this relationship is that he knows that I’m that person for him, too.  We recognize one another as soul mates, and we both gratefully accept responsibility for one another without question or hesitation.

I have far too many favorite stories about Bowyer to share in one place.  The word “friend” is inadequate to express the place he has in my life.  He belongs to me, and I to him, and it will ever be thus.

Happy birthday, Bowyer.  I love you.

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Filed under admiration, celebration, compassion and connection, family matters, Friends, funniness, Home and Family, love notes, messages from the Universe, Parenting, this is NOT a drill

Thought for Thursday: Angry *Edited*

Please, watch this.

“The biggest problem with the denizens of Bullshit Mountain is they act like their shit don’t stink.  If they have success, they built it; if they failed, the government ruined it for them.  If they get a break, they deserve it; if YOU get a break, it’s a “handout” and an “entitlement.”  It’s a baffling, willfully blind cognitive dissonance.”

Edited to include this quote, taken from Gregory Mantisios’s essay “Media Magic: Making Class Invisible:”

 For the media, “we” the affluent stand not only apart from the “other” – the poor, the working class, the minorities, and their problems – “we” are also victimized by the poor (who drive up the costs of maintaining the welfare rolls), minorities (who commit crimes against us), and by workers (who are greedy and drive companies out and prices up).  Ignored are the subsidies to the rich, the crimes of corporate America, and the policies that wreak havoc on the economic well-being of middle America.  Media magic convinces us to fear, more than anything else, being victimized by those less affluent than ourselves.

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Filed under compassion and connection, concerns, critical thinking, doing my duty, dumbassery, frustrations, funniness, General Bitching, politics, ruminating, social issues, strange but true, this is NOT a drill, Worries and Anxieties, WTF?!

Ten Things Tuesday

Movie quotes that could double as essay feedback!  Bonus points if you can ID the movies…

1.  “You keep using that word.  I do not think that word means what you think it means.” (duh!  You knew this would be first, right?)

2.  “I’m sorry; were you being funny?”

3.  “What the fuck is this?”

4.  “That was reckless, that was stupid, and that was dangerous.”

5.  “Wake up! I need you to be focused!”

6.  “Any last words? Come on, spit it out!”

7.  “Hi. Do you speak English?”

8.  “There’s no way that should’ve worked!”

9.  “Perhaps we are asking the wrong questions.”

10.  “This is your worst fuck up ever.”

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Filed under funniness, movies, teaching, ten things Tuesday

Quick Hit: Happiness Challenge, Day 4

Today, I’m happy for Bruder.

He arrived last night to come and spend the week at the lake (for the record, this will be our fifth year with this vacation tradition).  We all love him with a kind of easy ferocity (I know that sounds contrary, but it’s not) and I’m always delighted to have him with us.

This is a picture of Bruder and Bean, looking at fish in the lake in 2010.  We call it the “zombie picture” because, well, they look like they could be mumbling “BRAIIINS” over the edge of the dock, don’t they?

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Filed under celebration, family matters, fun, funniness, Home and Family, kid cuteness, love notes

Six Word Saturday

I am my own weather indicator…

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Filed under funniness, weather

Quick Hit: HA, Chicka-Chicka!

Oh, my GOD!  THIS?  This is AWESOME!

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Filed under fun, funniness, movies, strange but true

Friday Funny: Three Little Pigs

Tonks directed me to this a few weeks ago, and it hasn’t lost any of its funny for me.

Enjoy!

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Filed under funniness, learning, Little Bits of Nothingness, my oh-so-exciting life, reading

Quick Hit: Toeses in the Snow

Dropping cats into snowbanks is a long and treasured tradition in the Chili household.  Don’t feel too badly for old Toeses; he got a healthy dose of cream for his troubles.

The bit you didn’t hear Mr. Chili say was “it SNOWED today!”  It takes a second between when I hit the start button and when the phone starts recording.  Sorry ’bout that.

 

Also?  Here’s Chez Chili in the snow.  Pretty, no?

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Filed under funniness, pets, weather

Quick Hit: Specials

We’ve promised the girls that we’d TiVo all the holiday specials for them.  That got me reminiscing.

While I think that my favorite character in a holiday special is Yukon Cornelius (“Bumbles BOUNCE!”), a close second is the Winter Warlock in Santa Claus is Coming to Town.  What’s funny about this is that my favorite scenes from the specials is in exactly the opposite order; Winter Warlock stars in the first, and Yukon is in my second.  I did a quick search of YouTube and, lo!, the Warlock scene is available!

Sadly, I couldn’t find the “LAND HO!” scene from Rudolph, but you all know the one I’m talking about….

Today has been spent cooking.  I’ve got a mess of buckeyes cooling their little chocolate jackets in the garage, a batch of chocolate crinkle cookie dough solidifying in the fridge, and a batch of fudge cooling on the counter.  I’ll likely make another batch tonight, after we get back from the annual creches viewing at Katie’s.  Watch this space for pictures…

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Filed under celebration, funniness, holiday, remembering