Category Archives: funniness

Quick Hit: Busy

I’m busy today, you guys.  The holiday prep is in full swing, and this evening is stuffed full of appointments, yoga class, and a middle and high school holiday concert.  As a consequence, I don’t have a whole lot of time to devote to writing today, so you get this.  It made me laugh, and I hope it does the same for you.

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What are we up to now?

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Filed under dumbassery, funniness, Little Bits of Nothingness, my oh-so-exciting life, quick hit

Ten Things Tuesday

Today is O’Mama’s birthday.  Here are 10 things about her:

1.  My friend is such a dork.  She freely admits – out loud an in public – to lots of geeky obsessions; fan fiction, Dr. Who, Star Trek, that sort of thing.  I dig that about her.

2.  My friend has a very distinctive style.  She loves (and looks gorgeous in) clean, classic clothing accentuated by fun (but not too funky) jewelry.  Though she will deny this, I think she nearly always looks put-together.

3.  My friend shares my love of laughter, and it is true that when we get together, we laugh a lot.  It is also true that the people at the next table over in the restaurant most often have NO idea what the HELL we’re talking about.  I dig that.

4.  My friend appreciates the little things in her life (that, when you get right down to it, aren’t so little).  She is the only other person I know who is as happy in her marriage as I am in mine.  She loves her daughters while simultaneously being mystified (and sometimes horrified) by them, just like me.  She knows she’s got it good, and she’s conscious enough to stop every once in a while to appreciate it.  I REALLY dig that about her.

5.  My friend is a part of my foundation.  Even though we don’t see each other nearly as often as we used to – or as we’d like – I know that she’s ALWAYS there.  I can text her in the middle of the day, and she’ll respond.  I could call her at two in the morning, and she’d get in the car in her pajamas to be with me.  That sort of thing overwhelms me; I am honored and grateful to have that kind of stability in her.  I hope she knows she has it in me, too.

6.  My friend is smart; she is one of the most careful and critical thinkers I know.  Her input on the things we think about together is invaluable.  I am a smarter, better person because she shares her thinking with me, and I am profoundly grateful.

7.  My friend cares deeply about fairness and justice and basic human dignity.  The work that she does with her husband (the doctor) furthers her deliberate intentions to do good in the world.  I dig that about her.

8.  My friend is observant.  She has a way of seeing subtle connections, discerning motivations and consequences, and considering implications that reveal that she doesn’t miss much.

9.  My friend has a pointy sense of humor that I just love.  She has a way of highlighting the absurd in situations, she can clearly see the funny in a lot of life, and she’s a master at the deadpan ridicule of the inane.  She’s also not above pointing out the ridiculous in her own habits, and she does impressions (mostly of brogue Scots and old Jewish grandmothers) that crack me up.

10.  My friend is a genuinely good person who is constantly working to be even better.  She is self-aware and honest, and that’s a mighty rare thing.

Happy birthday, Bitch!  I love you!

bitch gps

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Filed under admiration, celebration, compassion and connection, critical thinking, Friends, fun, funniness, Home and Family, love notes, ruminating, this is NOT a drill

Quick Hit: My Internal Jukebox

I got this catchy little tune stuck in my head today.  It came up early in a Pandora rotation this morning, and I ended up surrendering to it and bought the whole album from iTunes when I got home this afternoon.

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Filed under fun, funniness, Little Bits of Nothingness, music, my oh-so-exciting life

Nearly Wordless Wednesday

This isn’t photoshopped.   Go to thesaurus.com and look up “fascist.”  Seriously.

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Filed under dumbassery, funniness, politics

Birthday Love

Today, my precious friend and soul mate Bowyer celebrates another year of life on Earth, and I get an excuse to write a love note to him in honor of the occasion.

I met Bowyer in college.  We were both attending a summer program in teaching that required a couple of days “bonding” as a group in the mountains (which both of us just barely endured, and not without a hefty dose of scathing sarcasm) and six weeks running a classroom (which we did as a team), and I remember my first impressions of him as if it happened yesterday and not 17 years ago.  He was confident, matter-of-fact, and hysterically funny, and he remains those things to this day.  I think it took us all of two days to recognize that we were going to be important to each other – he was drawn to me and I to him in ways and for reasons that neither of us can adequately explain, even now –  and by the time we finished the program, we were best friends.

There are about a zillion things that I love about this man, but the top of the list is that he is genuine and he is constant.  Bowyer is someone who understands who he is and what’s important to him, and though he’s not the kind of man to resist change if it’s needed, he is the person I point to when I need to give an example of someone who is exactly what he says he is.  There is a kind of bedrock, foundational trustworthiness in his character; I know that what I’m seeing is what I’m getting, and I deeply respect that in him.

My friend makes me laugh all the time.  He is the master of the one-liner (“She has a head?!”), and he tells a fantastic story; in fact, his storytelling prowess is second only in my estimation to that of my sister.  He understands how a good narrative works, he understands just about all the shades of funny, and his enthusiasm in telling his stories makes them that much more entertaining.  I love it when his eyes bug out.

Bowyer is one of the most ethical professionals I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.  He is a teacher, like me, and he approaches his work with a kind of practical efficiency that I have long admired; he loves his students in very different ways than I do, but there is no mistaking that he loves them.  A few years ago, he was challenged by administration about his grades, and he stood his ground and insisted that the students demonstrate that they know the material before they get the grade.  It was a difficult time for him, and he could have just knuckled under and done what the administration wanted him to do, but he refused to change the grades of kids who did not do the work to his standards because he knew he wouldn’t be doing right by the students.  Bowyer’s entire life is informed by doing what he knows is right.

Bowyer is also a woodworking craftsman, and the work that he produces is exquisite.  He sets high standards for himself, and he continually meets them.  His work is careful, precise, and beautiful, and he carries those qualities over into his day-t0-day work, as well; when he cleans the house, it’s clean – there are no corners cut when he’s working, and I love that about him.  He really embodies the Yankee work ethic.

When we first met, Bowyer was pretty clear that he didn’t want children.  The problem, though, was that he was in love with someone who did, and he ended up agreeing to becoming a parent (twice!).  While he jokes about it now (“We could have gone on with our happy fucking little lives… but NO!  YOU people wanted to have kids!”), he has grown into a really fantastic father.  His sons are smart, confident, and loving young men, and my heart melts a little to see him interact with them (knowing, as I do, how hesitant he was to take on this role and seeing how beautifully he’s grown into it).  His first thought is always about how his decisions are going to affect the boys, and he goes out of his way to make sure that they have what they need first; everything else comes after that.

Bowyer is my “person;” someone I know that I can call on at any time, for any reason, and he’ll drop everything to be there for me, regardless of how long it’s been since we last saw one another or what’s going on in his life at the moment.  He is, without question, the first person I’d call if tragedy struck; I know that he’d be able to make decisions and take care of things that I may not have the capacity to think about, and I know that I’d be well cared-for in his presence.  The amazing thing about this relationship is that he knows that I’m that person for him, too.  We recognize one another as soul mates, and we both gratefully accept responsibility for one another without question or hesitation.

I have far too many favorite stories about Bowyer to share in one place.  The word “friend” is inadequate to express the place he has in my life.  He belongs to me, and I to him, and it will ever be thus.

Happy birthday, Bowyer.  I love you.

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Filed under admiration, celebration, compassion and connection, family matters, Friends, funniness, Home and Family, love notes, messages from the Universe, Parenting, this is NOT a drill

Thought for Thursday: Angry *Edited*

Please, watch this.

“The biggest problem with the denizens of Bullshit Mountain is they act like their shit don’t stink.  If they have success, they built it; if they failed, the government ruined it for them.  If they get a break, they deserve it; if YOU get a break, it’s a “handout” and an “entitlement.”  It’s a baffling, willfully blind cognitive dissonance.”

Edited to include this quote, taken from Gregory Mantisios’s essay “Media Magic: Making Class Invisible:”

 For the media, “we” the affluent stand not only apart from the “other” – the poor, the working class, the minorities, and their problems – “we” are also victimized by the poor (who drive up the costs of maintaining the welfare rolls), minorities (who commit crimes against us), and by workers (who are greedy and drive companies out and prices up).  Ignored are the subsidies to the rich, the crimes of corporate America, and the policies that wreak havoc on the economic well-being of middle America.  Media magic convinces us to fear, more than anything else, being victimized by those less affluent than ourselves.

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Filed under compassion and connection, concerns, critical thinking, doing my duty, dumbassery, frustrations, funniness, General Bitching, politics, ruminating, social issues, strange but true, this is NOT a drill, Worries and Anxieties, WTF?!

Ten Things Tuesday

Movie quotes that could double as essay feedback!  Bonus points if you can ID the movies…

1.  “You keep using that word.  I do not think that word means what you think it means.” (duh!  You knew this would be first, right?)

2.  “I’m sorry; were you being funny?”

3.  “What the fuck is this?”

4.  “That was reckless, that was stupid, and that was dangerous.”

5.  “Wake up! I need you to be focused!”

6.  “Any last words? Come on, spit it out!”

7.  “Hi. Do you speak English?”

8.  “There’s no way that should’ve worked!”

9.  “Perhaps we are asking the wrong questions.”

10.  “This is your worst fuck up ever.”

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Filed under funniness, movies, teaching, ten things Tuesday